State Side Volume 1: Guns, Booze, and Stereotypes

Joe flying me around in his Powered Parachute - AMAZING!

It's hard to Belize I've been back a month already.  It seems like just yesterday I was enjoying the company of my friends, feeling the nip of the cool Colorado air, driving a car, and by the end of it feeling like I did miss the simple life here.  I'm glad to be back, even gladder I went, and truly feel like I've found a good balance these days (in most areas of my life - guessing the pan of brownies for lunch wasn't a good "balance" decision; but chill out mom that didn't really happen...or did it?).

First Dinner Home - Best Rolls EVER

So you want highlights?!  You want low-lights?!  I know you do!  I mean heck, the first section of my Cousin Jennifer's yearly Holiday letter that I read is always her "vital statistics" section...but that will come at the end.  Oh yeah...and this is only volume one of a yet to be determined number of releases. Lots of stories, and many may not reach the light of day.  But the sooner we get started the sooner we can go back to our drinks.

My Texas 'whip' - BMW 52?something

My window of time to see my main man Mark was incredibly tight.  I flew in on the 4th, and he left the 5th at 3pm for training in some other part of the US...trick is he was located about 340 miles away from my port of entry (the Bush International Airport - which had a lot of trees...but I really didn't see any bushes).  So after some yummy BBQ at Spring Creek, the BEST ROLLS EVER (like if Casa Picasso put their lobster sliders on this bread people would start WW3 for the rights to it) and a good nights rest I blazed a trail from Houston to Weatherford (just outside Fort Worth) in my parents sweet BMW 5 Series...that's right I haven't driven in 2 years and my parents were like "sure take our car on a 700 mile journey"...I keep telling you they're nice people.

Rita, Kristy, Joe - eating BBQ and sipping home brew

I truly cannot explain the what a relaxaing and joyous feeling it is to pull up on the Short Farm.  I met Joe and Rita (Mark's Aunt and Uncle) at Mark and Kristy's wedding many years back, and they are two of the most hospitable people I know (which runs like wild fire in Mark's family - and those they pick as spouses).  So much so that I stopped at their place when I was moving to Belize, originally for a night, and stayed 2...or maybe 3!  Joe crafts his own beers, which are on tap in the pool house, grills some great meat, and both he and Rita are such relaxing and calm spirits (which is odd since Joe is has an outwardly wild and exuberant persona) that you can't help but never want to leave.  Interestingly enough I'm pretty sure Joe will also be the neighborhood cat "lady" at some point...unless Rita can save him.

Joe, Kristy, Mark - all packing heat...that target is gonna get it

For our day on the Short Farm we did what you do in Texas...shoot guns, grilled meat, drank beer, flew around in a flying machine, and played some pool volleyball.  Joe and I dominated at volleyball (Mark had already got his car service to the airport - a great story here, but will remain untold)...even when his neighbor (who's name escaped me) went onto the girls team; didn't matter, we cleaned house! Truly an amazing first day back - seeing so many great friends, sharing beer and food, and flying in Joe's Powered Parachute; which is basically a go-kart with a big fan strapped to the back - kudos to Joe for wanting to try a third time when the first two takeoff attempts didn't go so well...but these things are very safe.

Me and my Aunt Dorothy

After a night on the farm it was off the next day; I drove back to Houston, with a stop in Huntsville to see my Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Kermit.  YEP!!  Kermit is my uncle.  Now you know why I can jump so high...and like thick women - for 'reals' though he's like a super famous author, check out his world famous book by click right HERE!!! For now we travel by air to Phoenix where my buddy Andrew and his lovely lady Amber live.  Two nights visiting his clan on tap.


Andrew is a friend from the old hotel days.  When I worked at Stonebridge Companies I was in charge of all Best Western and Wyndham branded hotels for them (that was 2 tiny hotels total...) and I went through Wyndham training with Andrew who worked for a company in Phoenix (at one point we were both SBC employees as well...and we're both NAU Lumberjacks!).

The Glazed Donut Gilled Cheese

Had a great time just relaxing, family dinners, chillin' each night in the pool with a HUGE PBR - it was 36 glorious ounces of PBR, and after being stuck with Belikin for 2 years it tasted like liquid gold; not as hot or melty as gold would be...okay that's a terrible analogy but I think you get my point. Amber made an amazing creation night one that she was nice enough to share, and I duplicated the next day...a grilled cheese on a glazed donut (Google just WILL NOT let me use "donut" without the "s" on the end...is it THAT inconceivable that I only had ONE donut?!).  No joke - so simple and yet one of the best things I've put in my mouth.  You need a good amount of butter, gotta basically get the glaze melting again and then have it recrystallize into an almost hard shell coating. I can't imagine what would've happened had I tried to put some bacon in there - I'd likely still be standing in their kitchen in a comatose state.  In fact I see bacon with a butter/sugar glaze coming to a charter in the near future.

All my hotelier friends will appreciate what Andrew did here!

One of Andrews adorable kids made a couple uber cute comments.  Night one I get there and he's telling me how I'll be using his bed with the sharks on it - and I need to be careful and "don't let the sharks bite you."  Then later he was asking if Andrew was sleeping in the bed with me, I said I doubted it.  He asked if Andrew would us the top bunk, I again said I doubted it and that he'd likely sleep in his room with Amber.  He looked at me and said "but you're here only two nights, why doesn't he sleep with you?"  I love the innocence of youth, that humans can live free of the negative connotation and thoughts that something must be abnormal.  Don't get me wrong - I'm happy to have slept alone, but I loved witnessing the pure innocence of youth - something we rob far too often and early these days.

Kitty Cat Time

Beer is not hard to get in Belize, but it is in the states for minors.  At a gas station one night there may or may not (but definitely WAS) an offer for a blow job in exchange for buying this under age girl some beer...we left the gas station and she was still beer less.  The next day driving through town in a rather large F-350 a lady in another very large truck hit our mirror with her mirror.  After agreeing to a quick cash exchange for repair she asked us to follow her to work so she can get the money.  She was an attractive Asian woman, looked Vietnamese, very well put together, nice clothes, boobs too large to missed by a passing satellite.  Andrew looks at me and says "not to be stereotyping...but I bet we're headed to a nail salon."  After a few blocks we round the corner, pull in a strip mall and see a huge Pho restaurant...which we drove right past stopping at the nail salon on the other side.


The next morning I boarded a flight bound for Colorado.  The bulk of my time, the bulk of my previous life...well...same life but my previous self I suppose.  I had a lot of very interesting revelations about a number of things during my time in Colorado.  Some you'll hear about, some I'll keep for me, and still others I've likely forgotten already.  

Time to go see what the tide has brought in today.  I've been on a real winning streak the past 37 years or so.

The Charles Dickens Theorem

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days...well, that's a bit extreme on both ends.  This day did posses both ends of the spectrum, violently shifting at times.  It would provide hope, then steal it away and leave it harder to get back up.  So many of my friends had really rough days too - sorry to all of you...may tomorrow's tide bring a brighter day for us all.

I really do my best to post nothing negative in my blog.  A couple times I've been asked - "why didn't eating at our place make a blog post?"  Well, if I didn't talk about it then it's likely because you didn't want me to talk about it...just trust me.  No one was the cause of this terrible day, well nothing mortal, perhaps eternal...but that's a subject for another post.  

Anyway I digress, and with few pics to keep you interested I can't afford digression.  My day started when Carlo and Ernie's closed for the night and the BTIA Board finally called it a night.  The actual meeting ended hours earlier - but lets face it the real progress and action happens after the meeting. The bonding and networking on beers 4 + is lasting, the planning effective, and the plans will move...maybe.  Got a few hours of sleep and got up at 6am for what was to be a GREAT day for the Ecologic Divers.  

We've put a lot of work into planning and prep of new trips.  We spent time designing foods and plans; we executed those plans...things were going so good and the team was really rocking.  We were going to have the biggest day of the season so far and a great 'test day' for all off shore trips coming up.  Then the worst fears were realized, the winds picked up and the heavens pissed on us...basically pissed all over my f-ing Cheerios.  We adjusted one way, and another, tried to make back up plans...and Mother Nature (that ruthless biotch) thwarted our every effort.  

So much investment in food, plans, prep, labor - to ruin.  The crew was great, the plans went off perfectly, and our confidence is high for our next off shore trips; but the bank doesn't take "confidence" when payroll comes around after the rain washed all our revenue down the drain like that silly Itsy Bitsy Spider. But just like that like that silly spider, I will climb the spout again.    

I won't detail the rest of the ups and downs...but at the end of the day I was ready to lay face down in the Sargasso and let the tide carry me away.  Then I thought I didn't want to get my phone wet so I got up.  And it's a good thing I did.

I initially laid down after closing the shop to nap or die...whatever at that moment.  When my new friend Heidi decided she was going to try the new joint in town - Nook - and invited me along.  I certainly obliged; though I had dinner plans already, they were for late dinner, so splitting an app and having some fun chat was certainly a good change from 'laying down to nap or die'.  PS - since I didn't eat much I won't give Nook a full review yet; I'll just say I was very pleased so far.  Heidi was so kind to buy my app and drink!  I always have a hard time feeling okay letting people buy me things, but I'm getting better at being gratefully accepting.  When you can put aside the fight to pay and just accept a friends generosity you find a warming in the heart.  To feel that value that the friend puts on you, to be worthy of them spending their hard earned resources just to spend some time hanging out.  Makes an inside smile happen :)

After that it was on to Sandbar Hostel - where Brittney was cooking up my favorite meal, Chicken Fried Steak and Mash, for a few lucky souls (Matt, Sara, Eric, Jeff Parker, and another fellow who's name has escaped me).  Amazing. I can't talk about it without my belly crying tears of joy.  Knowing that such a great CFS cook is only 200 yards from my house.  I tell you the generosity to personally cook up a family meal for us to enjoy - I'm truly speechless.  Kindness at it's height.   The real treat wasn't the food. It was the friends at both dinner stops!  Many times the friends here have made a very positive impact in a very needed time.

I could've had that CFS, or even a better one if such existed, alone and not felt the total attitude adjustment that I got between the two hang outs.  Being a bit of a recluse I can easily forget that important fact.  We all find a day when we get stuck in the shit - and having hands to reach out is more valuable than nearly anything we can come up with ourselves. 

Perhaps more importantly is when you have the opportunity do - you reach out?  I try.  Likely not the best at it by any stretch...but I hope to always do better.  Be a good neighbor and all that jazz right?! RIGHT!!  Everyone has a bad day and it's our jobs as friends to extend a hand.  Sure, I still need to win the lottery to make payroll, but passing time with great friends and feeling that since of value is priceless to the hidden emotional confidence that is so key to success.

Help those around you and build that confidence, allow their help to fill you with a joy and a warmth of value.  We'll all be better people for it. 

Food Explorer - Cayo Belize

So I recently spent a bit of time doing more inland exploration.  Cayo is an amazing district!  I absolutely love it.  Our time was spent 60/40 between San Ignacio Resort Hotel (from here out known as SIRH), and the ranch at Banana Bank.  Details on the resorts and the amazingness of the stays will come in future posts - today is all about the food on the trip.

I struggled a bit with structure here.  Should I go best first or saved for last?!  I didn't want people to fall asleep before the good part - but no one wants to end with a sputter either.  Finally I decided the best way was to order the meals as they were eaten through a day - not necessarily by day mind you - but lunches (cause I had no fabulous breakfasts worth talking about), snacks, dinner, desserts.  Let the highly professional (not) assessment of Cayo food offerings commence!

Mount Bacon 

Do you see what I see?  I said "sure, add some bacon" when asked by the waiter.  His manager would be happy with the upsell, and let me tell you - I was more than happy with the MOUNTAIN of bacon that showed up; thick cut heaven on a bun.  SIRH wins an award for best bacon upgrade I've ever had...you can barely see the meat under that stack of bacon.

Guava Chicken Wings

The Belize Tourisn Board awarded the 2015 Restaurant of the Year award to Guava Limb Cafe.  Being in San Ignacio that put it as stop number one on the culinary exploration list.  Our experience surely didn't disappoint, so much so that we went back both days; just couldn't pull away to a try a local rice and beanery when this wonderment was being offered up.

Port Loin Panini

Day One pick went to the Guava wings.  Perfectly cooked, and that sauce was a sweet guava bbq mix up that was killer.  They'd be in the conversation for best wings in Belize. Day two saw me going with the Pork Lion Panini (and a side salad cause I was already sick of french fries - what is wrong with me?!).  It was massive!  I didn't even need to eat dinner that night; I did of course eat dinner...but I didn't need to eat it.  The pork was great - I should've asked for some of that wing sauce for a bit of a topper - but I didn't think of it.  Guava Limb is very generous in their portions.

Shrimp Wontons (what was left!)

Peanut Sauce

My travel mate is pretty much a walking food disposal so appetizers were a must, even with ginormous portions.  One was the shrimp wontons...OMG...could've eaten 15 dozen.  The first day were spring rolls.  The springs rolls were fine - but what blew my mind like a Cat 5 Hurricane going through the house made of straw was the peanut sauce.  When it first arrived I thought it spicy mustard...which I was really looking forward too (cause when I ask on San Pedro they look at me like I'm not in a Chinese restaurant asking for a staple they invented).  So first taste was a bit sad - but then it was 180'd and my life was changed forever.  What you see is me eating the left overs with my finger...what you don't see is that I also licked out the ramekin.  Yep, and I'd do it again.

Filet Mignon

What's better than a bacon wrapped filet?   2 of them...herb butter patties melting atop; creating rivers of goodness flowing over the side like the many Belizean waterfalls in the Cayo District.  Too much food - after the first filet I was in love, part way through the second it was a chore.  All be it my favorite chore of all time.  Also - why does Google not know that "mignon" is a word?!  Really?!  That is a crime against humanity, Google! Bet they are big PETA supporters...oh well; more steak for me.

Cookies, ice cream,
"Cayo" Lime Pie

The "Cayo Lime Pie" - to freaking die for. Possibly the best I've had.  The food was good at SIRH...but these desserts were phenomenal.  Much more tart than I'm used too, but very well balanced with the creamy sweetness of the custard.  Presentation was flawless - appearing that the little bits on the meringue had been set individually (and maybe there are). A quick note - I had a cookie on two occasions.  The first was as described as follows - the second was likely cooked in the same batch; however two days of fridge time in between left it limp and tasting like a fridge...if the cookies aren't fresh - skip them and go with the Cayo Lime Pie; however if the cookies are fresh, be prepared...you life...is about to change.

Perfect chocolate chip cookie.  I thought it a thing of myth and legend.  After SIRH I believe it possible...not yet achieved, but a possibility that is attainable in my lifetime. This cookie was firm and stood solid when held out, but gave way to a bite like soft warm butter with a firm outer shell.  It was moist and giving, yet the sugar was so plentiful it had crusted on the outside like an armour (that is how the rest of the world spells "armor" for my American friends) of love crystals.  Surely the rest of the people in the restaurant thought I was getting "extra special" under the table style attention as I involuntarily shifted and "oh'd" as I ate this bit of love crafted just for me.  I assure you I wasn't getting any such attention.  So why was the cookie not perfect?  Simple...it wasn't as big as the table.

PORN - Food Porn Anyway

Disclaimer - I didn't even proof read this once...and I'm not sorry...it's who am I.

When I think about the most missed items from my previous life, many are food related.  Restaurants, and dishes that you just can't find down here.  I will say there is some phenomenal eating in and around San Pedro - and if you know where to go you can really knock out some amazing culinary experiences.  They don't all have to come from a restaurant either - I fancy myself a pretty good cook really (had you sampled the grouper I just cooked you would likely disagree...but I can't nail them all).

I tend to enjoy telling stories as I write - but my brain is kinda fried.  So while thinking and remembering these events as I re-count them for you; I won't be using my normal story telling style, but more just a 'here's a picture and description of the event' type of approach.  Or they at least won't be one cohesive story..eh, we'll see what comes out.

Home Cooking is often underrated.  I'm not a genius in the kitchen, but I have a few dishes that I like to think I've conquered. Tacos is one for sure.  I make an crazy good taco.  My secret?  I do have a proprietary sauce that is yumilicious.  But really in my opinion the shell is the biggest factor.  There are a million taco vendors here and they all have one major issues - the shell is instantly soggy and the goodies fall out the bottom.  It's really not tough to make a decent taco but apparently I'm the only one here that can.  Casserole's are my other favorite - not for the yum factor, but you cook once and eat for days.  

Home cooked desserts are also fun times.  This little beauty is a S'mores dip...chocolate, marshmallow, grahams to dip in.  Sara made that little gem.  I will be copying her - but I'm gonna slip some peanut butter chips in mine.


So I'm not sure this is a new place (new owners at least), but certainly new for me - Island Buzz Cafe and Grill.  So happy I found this place; thank you to my friends over at 365 Belize for their write up that got me moving that far south to try this place (not that its far south - it's right by Island Academy (but that's way outside of my normal 3 block radiu); for a much more professional review of this joint check out their post.
I originally tried this place for breakfast with Laurie (aka Tacogirl.com) and was floored with the attention to detail in the food.  I can't tell you how long it's been since I've had a proper croissant.  Flaky, layers, amazing.  Lunch with my brother the next day was just as staggeringly delicious.  Yes my fellow San Pedronos...a great sandwich is available on this island - no more going to Caye Caulker just to visit Paradiso Deli.  I had the special, a meat ball grinder, and my brother did the Philly.  From bread to ball and even over to cole slaw and potato things...greatness.  Attention to detail that you can taste. Even the blackberry cobbler (not pictured cause I ate it) was PERFECT.  No doughie grossness; a crisp flaky layer with great black berries just below.  I can still taste that meatball, slightly crisp exterior with juicy tasty interior.  The will be having lobster specials now as well...they only have 3 table so I don' know where everyone will sit, but we'll sort it.  They also do box lunches and such for events.  

 Finally got south and tried Black Orchid...despite the lack of menu prices on the website I broke my rule and went.  So glad I did.  My brother and I started with some meatballs - amazing.  Great choice.  I'm gonna actually call this a meat salad so our meal appears healthier.  What we really came for was the steak. We're simple men - meat, potato, rum.  I went with a bit of a surf and turf option and was happy for it.  The shrimp was good...the steak was great.  I think Eric's official review was - "You can tell this was marinated in love...I don't even want to swallow."  I couldn't say it any better than that.  So - natural question - I love Casa Picasso, I love Black Orchid.  So which is my favorite?  Now I know what parents mean when they say they can't choose a kid...ugg.  Well...both.  I think about it all, from the great reception, caring owners, joyful faces and service, atmosphere, FOOD, and I can't pick a clear favorite.  There are items that each does better than the other.  I'm not going to say them though - I think both of these places stand atop a big heap together and should be experienced by the masses.

 <---That is Eric's "pure steak joy face".  Really I don't know when I've seen him near as happy as when he's eating a great filet.  On a separate note I was lucky enough to attend Red Cross welcome dinner at Casa Picasso, which is of course and mainstay favorite of mine.  I had, you guessed it, the filet; and I must stay Chef Jeff is doing an amazing job at CP; he's really killing it in this dudes opinion.  Back to the food. My neighbors on both sides had some Bacon Jam Mac & Cheese for dinner; dear Sara Jean was kind enough to let me dip my filet in her left overs - so we're talking a perfectly cooked amazing filet with cheesey bacony friends all having a party with your taste buds.  It was likely one of the greatest things that has ever been in my mouth.

If you haven't had the wings at Lola's then you're life isn't complete. The grilled cheese and tomato soup is also an amazing combo...simple style comfort food.  Who doesn't love dipping a cheese sandwich in tomato soup?!  Cheers to the Blackhawks!  Thanks for a fun time Steve, Trevor, Jean, my new Irish friends, and of course Robbie...never ever ever let me leave a bar with Robbie ever ever ever again...never.  Well, until the next time!

I've noticed that I have many many "thoughtful/emotional" blogs 1/2 way written.  I never seem to able to finish them; largely for fear of causing "innocent people" some sort of emotional distress...but I'm working on them.

SAGA and the Bowl of Pudding

So...it's been busy - I sat down after a long day and realized I needed to proof (yeah, you likely won't believe me, but yes I actually proof read this) and post my blog.  I got off the couch with the intention of fetching my lappie and publishing a blog...yet I found myself back on the couch with a bowl of pudding!  Pudding consumed - blog being published.  Priorities...

The day began much like any other day...I woke up.  The major question of the day - to go or not to go to the SAGA fundraiser tonight.  Being a guy that is finely tuned to all the energies and 'signs' that come my way (by now anyone that knows me is wondering how many Colorado Brownies I ate...none...), I studied the rain as it fell ever harder in the morning.  When it hit the "cat and dogs" level of pouring rain I decided to heed the sign: I must support the cats and dogs of San Pedro - a fundraising I will go!  TRUTH - it did rain 'cats and dogs' this morning but I didn't think of the reference till my bother said "funny it was raining cats and dogs...now we're supporting cats and dogs" when we were at the event.

The event of the day - SAGA Humane Society was having a cook-off!  Looking back at the handy dandy FaceBook event dealie-whopper I see they had free shots...not sure how I missed that...but I did. These fine folks do a lot of good for the 4 legged...actually we have to really just call them cats and dogs around here cause I've seen more than one that doesn't have 4 legs...friends.  You should totally like their FaceBook page and stop by to walk some dogs!

Was I rolling at the VIP table?  No.  Did I want to be?  No.  I got to sit with my pals, in the corner - nice deep bench with fabulous cushions.  Luna Loca is a cool venue.  Spent some time there over Easter weekend and had a good time then too. Friendly staff, good drinks, fun specials...good place to check out.  I don't get there much cause it's outside this hermits 3 block radius - but you should check 'em out.

On to the meat of the cook-off...and really the main reason I went.  First, I really need to apologize, I'm about to say things that will not be appreciated (especially by my biggest fan the unnamed travel writer that loves me so very much); won't mention who these dishes belonged too, and I certainly won't hold it against them beyond the confines of this event.  I was last in line (too much time chatting), and these fines folks gave of their time and resources to help this great event - so kudos to them!!  But I still have to critique, so on to the "what the heck dude...how did you come to a cook off with out enough food awards" - #1 - Bacon Wrapped Dates, #3 - Ginger Peanut Butter Sauce and Carrots (to be fair I got some carrots), #5 - Tropical Cheese Meatballs, #6 - Chicken kabob with Peanut Butter Sauce.  Yeah 1/2 the field failed to make it to end of the race.


It must be noted, that Victoria generously donated her meatball to me.  Apparently the slight hint of spice (that I adored) was too much for her fare pallet...good news for me.  Had the meat ball made it to the end of the race I MIGHT have voted for it.  It would've been top two for sure.  Even though I ate one I could not in good conscience vote for someone that didn't complete the event. This left me with #8 as the clear winner.  Licks was responsible for this little slice of heaven.  Very well cooked, the chutney was perfect and complimented the sesame tempura fish excellently.  The presentation was also astonishing; the only garnished dish that was served.  Spot on from plating to pallet - my vote - and the peoples vote - Congratulations to Licks on the event win!!

It was a good evening.  Not a late night, just quick enough to feel relaxed, but not too slow that you got bored between eating/raffle/speech/etc.  SAGA put on a great event again.  I'm not sure what the overall financial donation total will be - but while I was there they received two generous donations from anonymous sources; one for $1000 BZ and another for $300 BZ.

It should also be noted that SAGA needs help!  Cash is good, but you know what else can be great - your time.  Animals love companionship - and that's tough when you're in a cage.  So one day when you get bored why not head over and take some dogs for a walk?! Can be a great time.

Well...good deed done for the day.  Time to go chat with hot chicks online all night.

Fish, BBQ, Boogers...er, ah, Bloggers!

Me and Boola - not my fish... 

Couple minor adventures have taken place since last we spoke. Went deep sea fishing for the first time, ate some BBQ at a fundraiser BBQ cook off thing,  Likely some other cool stuff I'm just not remembering right now...will work on that.  Fun stuff and some food porn ahead.

Gaylynn & Morgan

The Godfather and his Wahoos

So yeah - fishing.  I'm not a big fisherman.  I love going to the river, lake, or pond with my pole and chair.  Though I usually cast out an empty hook so I can just sit and enjoy nature all day. I mean really, who wants a bunch of fish ruining your day by making you work? I think I've covered this in a blog already - but meals I have to work for are not meals I'm interested in.  Fish is fine and all, but not interested in wrestling the bastards myself, just like I don't like to peel, though I love to eat, shrimp and I would be SO much happier if baked potatoes came out of the oven split open, insides mixed up with butter, salt, and pepper already in there.  We can genetically engineer anything! I've eaten apples that taste like grapes (so good). When will my damn potato have butter, salt, and pepper pre-grown into it?!  Can't be that hard.

Oh yeah, sorry - fishing.  We rode in a boat, we caught WAY to many fish for my liking, we went home, cleaned fish, bought a taco for dinner.  Eric pulled in a Wahoo, I pulled in about 30 billion Barracuda (couple monsters too), but the big winner was the Godfather; Shawn pulled in 2 Wahoo showing us all how it is done.  The most interesting moment was when a fish got off the gaf still alive, people were jumping out of the way all over - poor Victor took a mighty fin slap to the harry boys...I haven't seen him since but I assume he survived. Another fun moment was when a Barracuda we thought was dead came roaring back to life - leapt out of the box as a vampire barracuda I'm sure.  It went right for the Godfather's achille's (just like in 1000 Ways to Die!!).  Luckily Shawn's stealthy reflexes meant he was able to narrowly escape a certain death.  I highly recommend ForTuna - another great Ecologic partner.  Call us to book!  Full day and half day tours are available.

Who wants some Wahoo?!

My pile of Barracuda - well, mostly mine

"We pull up fish after fish...one of these times I just want it to be a cow." - Easton Beymer (mid way through our sail across the Caribbean, Tuna were plentiful...cows not so much).



4th Annual BBQ Fundraiser - I was kinda bummed cause I thought it was the 3rd Annual and was gonna have so much fun with how they say "turd" instead of 3rd down here...but it was the 4th annual, so I pretty much flushed my whole comic routine right down the crapper.  See what I did there?  Turd - crapper...hehehe. <--- poop jokes - another reason I'll never be a professional booger...er ah, blogger.

Sunshine doing the 50/50

Keith and bank rocking the event

 First a note - I did not win the 50/50 draw...but I know the lady very well that did. Though I won't mention the name of a big cash winner on the internet I will say that I cannot think of a more deserving person to have won this draw!  Thank you so very much to all the people that contributed their hard earned money to the Sunshine folks - very worthy cause, and know that the lady that won the pot is a great contributor to our community and is an overall star of human kind!

My plate of angel ribs

Boola about to chow

 This is where I tell you about all the different ribs right?  Not so much.  I'll leave that to the professionals, I'm gonna go rogue...largely cause I don't know who won.  I do know that my personal favorite was the judge's choice!  Yellow was amazing because of the spice...OMG...yum.  It was far to hot for the other people at my table, but it was just a phenomenal heat and flavor.  So often people will go for hot and forget about flavor; but this was the perfect combination of the too.  I do know that Charles, the reigning champ and host, was not in my top 3 for voting...so Charles. However - I voted largely on flavor, and I like spice. Charles had one very important thing going for him; best cooked by far.  His meat fell off the bones. The other guys all had the problem that I had to rip and pull with my teeth.  When Charles's rib touched my lips the meat jumped off the bone and landed in my mouth.  Thank you for that Charles.  I do need to know one thing - who made those beans?!  Holy delicious sides that made the meal!  I'm guessing Estel's, and therefore 'Charles was in charge' of it.  They were amazing.  Some sort of meat in there, or just 1/2 crushed beans...not sure, just amazing.  I'd eat a bowl of just those.  In fact - I'm going to Estel's for breakfast tomorrow.  Join me?

So it was a good time!  In closing - I've left a little game below.  We have a couple famous bloggers on the island; both of which I'm fortunate enough to know.  If you look at the picture below you will see - what could be - the only picture in the known universe to capture them both (neither terribly well, but this is a once in a lifetime shot that couldn't be passed up).  That's right, I captured two famous bloggers with one stealthy shot.  These famous bloggers are often read, but rarely photographed; where as I am often photographed and rarely read. One of them may have even authored a threat that I was "going down!" if I posted this picture...well I trip regularly, and my readership is an astonishing 5...really I'm surprised the internet hasn't removed me already. Therefore I find the threat very interesting.  Where am I going to go down to?  (Answer required....)  So if you made it all the way to the bottom of this then you have two options; consider yourself one of five people in the world with truly exceptional taste, or wonder what the hell you're doing with you life and go outside and play.  I for one am about to go outside and play.

Find and name the Bloggers and win a PRIZE!!!!

Iranian saying of the day - 'When two camels pass in the desert, then they were going opposite directions.'

Food Porn...Top 5 Life Dining Experience

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My mother raised me to believe that if I had nothing good to say, then I should just say nothing. I recently dined at Casa Picasso here on Ambergris Caye...and this could be a very long blog!  If you figure I've generally eaten 3 meals a day for 35 years...then I've eaten roughly 38,325 meals.  This one is easily in my top .00013% (or top 5 for easier reference).  My friends Matt, Sara, and Karen were kind enough to invite me and even pay my tab - it was a most excellent surprise that Barb, Joe, Tacogirl (Laurie), and Paul were also able to join.

The menu, for me, was like what a nudie mag is to most men - I couldn't take my eyes off it.  My mouth watered from beginning to end.  I decided on the Chef's Tasting menu (a Thursday special); since it was also Chef Ben's Birthday and he was cooking a sampling of his personal favorites from home...how could this possible be anything but excellent?! Didn't hurt that I was two Watermelon coolers (aka - the "Matt Hoys") in by the time the first course arrived.  I'm not usually a Vodka man, but you couldn't taste it at all - trust me, it was there...but you couldn't taste it behind the watermelon/ginger yumminess.

1st Course - Spicy Tuna Rolls

Course numero uno...not sure where it went?!  It was on the plate, then I blacked out...and it was gone.  I'm not huge on sushi, but I fancy the occasional roll; usually lean toward a Cali or Spider though.  This Tuna Roll...it rivals even the best tuna that I've pulled out of the ocean and eaten right away.  The best part of this roll was a lack of rice. It had rice, but it wasn't 80% rice like so many other joints.  With the smaller amount of rice you could actually taste the tuna and veg...and savor the magical interaction of the soy and wasabi without having to fight through all that damn rice!  Best. Sushi. Ever.

2nd Course - Buffalo Fingers 

Up next - Buffalo Chicken Fingers..."move over buffalo wings" exactly!!!  I traded Matt a finger for some of his pancetta with bruschette (I'm sure I spelled neither of those correctly) - which was also amazing...as was the taste of the cauliflower dish Sara let me try (it may have been my favorite of the night actually).  Anyway, back to my buffalo fingers.  Ah....ah...maze...ing.  I'm going to run out of ways to say that by the end of this entry.  Perfect amount of batter to chicken, spice of the sauce was a real nice follow up to the wasabi from the previous course.  I loved that the celery was cut very thin.  The blue cheese was there in a ramican...where it remained till the dish washer cleaned it cause NOTHING can make those fingers taste better; especially not molded cheese.

3rd Course - Bacon Jam, Mac & Cheese 

Next up...Bacon Jam, Mac, & Cheese.  I mean really - do I need to say anything else about this?  With 3 of us at the table getting the Tasting Menu everyone was able to sample this dish, that could have only been delivered straight from heaven on the wings of angels. In an effort to truly experience this dish the body literally shut down other senses; your eyes closed your hearing faded; you could no longer feel your fork on your fingers.  The world melted away...leaving your olfactory and taste buds completely alone with this dish, floating through an alternate plane of reality that I could have stayed in for an eternity.  But it ended...for now.

4th Course - Red Snapper Puttanesca

The next course was a snapper fish with some yummy stuff on top...I'm just not a big fish guy, or a big olive guy.  I was impressed with the flavor of the topping (even though I don't like Olives) so I'm sure if you like the fishes then you'd've loved this dish.  It was great - I'm just a meatitarian.

5th Course - Deep Dish Apple Pie 

Next up, and the course that brought this epic eating fiesta to its conclusion - Deep Dish Apply Pie...and yep, that's melted cheddar on top.  Apparently this is a 'northern states' and Canada thing, to put cheese on pie. Are they crazy? No, they are genius.  The most unfortunate thing at this point is that I'm out of wonderful things to say - its kinda like a rockus night of sex.  I'm thoroughly enjoying this course; but I'm mentally drained. It ravaged my taste buds in a most excellent way - but all I can do is enjoy...I've got nothing left to give...but that doesn't mean I enjoy it any less.

Chef Ben...I love you.  In a totally platonic, OMG where have you been all my life you food cooking super genius, type of way.  I've also just learned that apparently Casa Picasso will send and cover a cab to and from your place - wow.  So what are the excuses not to eat here - death...that is the only one. I was amazed at the reasonableness (pretty cheap for the quality but don't tell them!) of the food prices.  So much so that I'm pretty sure my brother and I are headed back tomorrow!

And now I have a huge remote for my aging eye balls.  Thanks gang!

Just so you know - I am wearing pants in this picture...just they're short pants.  I live in Belize! I don't even have long pants anymore.