I've never been a hooker. I've never slept with a hooker...okay I guess no one "sleeps" with hookers - but to be clear I have never paid for sex. Well hell...isn't that what dating is? To be as clear as I can be - I have never taken money and given it to a women (or man) for the express intent of getting sex. Okay people?!
So what do I know about hooker advertising? Fair question - I'm not very suggestable, ads really don't have much effect on me. However, a hooker that advertises her craft well can really make a guy think twice. I have experienced first hand this version of advertising on two occasions (once again...didn't buy the product; but I sure enjoyed the ad).
If you were one of the 7 people that read my last blog you say the reference to my Father's great experience. Well he has graciously let me tell the tale; the tale of the day he first experienced the advertising of a skilled hooker. A technique I like to call the Stealth Ninja Penis Wrangle.
The sun as waning (if that means setting...cause it was setting) in the west; nothing more than a faint yellow resembland of the blazing ball is was just minutes earlier. My Father and I strolled harmlessly down the street in West End on Roatan in Honduras. We wre minding out own business an lazily chatting about the prospects of taking in some highly recommended Thai food (I tried to use that word that mean food, the one that starts with the "c" but I couldn't spell it close enough for Google to figure out what I meant...ug) at Thai's Place - side note...best Thai I've had in 2 years.
I saw it...like a spark of electricity shot through Pops. As he turned slowly to his left (where I was walking maybe a pace back) I stopped and stood in stunned silence awaiting the reason for such a quick and unexpected guttual reaction to...well I had no freaking idea...apparently nothing. I gave a quick scan expecting to see some epic topless big 'uns somewhere...nope...that wasn't it. So I looked back at Pops, cocked my head to the side and likely raised an eyebrow in interest.
With a grin from ear to ear my father picked up his right hand and crookedly pointed at the young woman in the red dress that had just walked past us. I hadn't even really noticed her till his motion. as he pointed he simultaneously asked "did you see that?" through the excited toothy grin of teenager.
All I had noticed was a girl, in a red dress, walking down the street opposite us.
Well what I missed was an event that had not happened to my father in any of his previous 71 years on the planet. Seeing as I have been approached by some...well...hourly girlfriends lets call them; I was a bit more familiar with their advertising techniques.
You see, as this well put together young lady walked by Pops, she stealthily reached over, and gently fondled his twig and berries, gave his a smile, and just kept walking. An even that made his day...nay...his entire trip.
And that is the story of the Stealth Ninja Penis Wrangler.
Looking back I suppose it shouldn't have surprised me that we walked up and down West End every night there after!
