I've had several significant life transitions over the years; none on a scale like this. I'm sitting here at 35 and leaving everything I've known in hopes that these dreams are solid enough to hold my future. An 11 year marriage over, easy corporate gig left behind, so many friends, so much family, and no real idea when (realistically "if") I'll ever see many of them again.
I recall moving to Colorado as a tyke, going away to college, and coming back to Colorado upon completing college, along with a few other minor life changes. I remember many friends and many relationships that I so nonchalantly assumed would just continue on into eternity...I was so wrong. So as much as I'd love to think that I will see all my friends again, and that all my great relationships will stay at a status quo; I cannot ignore what history has taught me - things will change.
I will be replaced, and I will replace people. I've already seen it...been witness to the treatment of the "new guy" in a fashion that I used to receive. It sparks such a mixture of feelings that I really can't sort them (mental note - topic for another blog). As painful as it initially is, it actually brings me a sense of calm to see the world move on, to see my spots filled, to be a replaceable cog.
There is no denying that this move to Belize ends a era for me. I do believe that so many people and relationships will continue to be a part of my life. Some may drift, some may strengthen. There is however only a single unwavering fact; that as this page is turned...everything will change.
Kendal, I hope that you find many new adventures in this new chapter. Relationships only grow stronger when the effort is put into them. But many good friendships can begin where you once left them. The road that you are traveling may bring you many fulfilling answers to the questions of what is life? You will be a part of this family for years to come. Those who watched you grow up, love you and want to see you find what you are looking for. Then there are those who grew up around you, and your many great qualities that have been their examples. Good luck and enjoy your time with your family.
ReplyDeleteAnna
Thank you Anna. I do feel I will always be apart of the family, and certainly will live and stay in touch and connect as that will be the case! I love you all and we're all in this life together...and I'm happy for it.
DeleteGood luck Kendall! :) I'm looking forward to your future adventures.
ReplyDeleteLife is a rollercoaster... Hang on tight and enjoy the ride. Cyndi
Maybe I've just been lucky, but not much has changed in the 7 years I've been living abroad. I walked away from a career I thought I loved, escaped an ex-husband with a vendetta, and said goodbye to friends I thought I couldn't live without at age 35 as well. My first stop was Taiwan, where I knew no one and couldn't speak a word of Mandarin. What I learned that first year set the tone for now. I quickly learned the friends I lost weren't really friends - they were jealous and I let them guilt me for the amazing opportunities I had, which was stupid on my part.
ReplyDeleteFast forward to today, and my group of friends is so much stronger and greater. The best is, I can pop in years later and it's not like anything has changed - except for some little ones added to the mix. Now, I can fly to two dozen countries and have people I count as real friends and we pick up like no time has passed. And, maybe that is because of the ease of modern technology. You talk about college, a time when no social media existed and the ability to keep in touch was, well, work.
You as a person are not replaceable, and for those that did, I hope you realize they were never your friends to begin with.
I hope that now you can look back at this first post and see your journey not so much as the end of an era, but the start of the rest of your life. You've seen and done so much, yet barely scratched the surface of the world that awaits. Embrace this journey and take comfort in the new friends and people you meet along the way. I'm blessed with unforgettable experiences, amazing friends, and looking back on the start of my journey, I would've never imagined I would be doing the things I am today. And, despite the rough patches, anxiety attacks, fear, and even bouts of depression, I wouldn't change a thing as it's led me right to where I believe I am meant to be.
Thank you for the great words Erin, and I couldn't agree with you more in whole. I two have found things very similar to what you have mentioned. It's good to feel like you're on the course that leads to your future the way it was intended. Thank you for the affirmation, and thank you for being a friend!
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