|Joe flying me around in his Powered Parachute - AMAZING!|
|First Dinner Home - Best Rolls EVER|
So you want highlights?! You want low-lights?! I know you do! I mean heck, the first section of my Cousin Jennifer's yearly Holiday letter that I read is always her "vital statistics" section...but that will come at the end. Oh yeah...and this is only volume one of a yet to be determined number of releases. Lots of stories, and many may not reach the light of day. But the sooner we get started the sooner we can go back to our drinks.
|My Texas 'whip' - BMW 52?something|
My window of time to see my main man Mark was incredibly tight. I flew in on the 4th, and he left the 5th at 3pm for training in some other part of the US...trick is he was located about 340 miles away from my port of entry (the Bush International Airport - which had a lot of trees...but I really didn't see any bushes). So after some yummy BBQ at Spring Creek, the BEST ROLLS EVER (like if Casa Picasso put their lobster sliders on this bread people would start WW3 for the rights to it) and a good nights rest I blazed a trail from Houston to Weatherford (just outside Fort Worth) in my parents sweet BMW 5 Series...that's right I haven't driven in 2 years and my parents were like "sure take our car on a 700 mile journey"...I keep telling you they're nice people.
|Rita, Kristy, Joe - eating BBQ and sipping home brew|
I truly cannot explain the what a relaxaing and joyous feeling it is to pull up on the Short Farm. I met Joe and Rita (Mark's Aunt and Uncle) at Mark and Kristy's wedding many years back, and they are two of the most hospitable people I know (which runs like wild fire in Mark's family - and those they pick as spouses). So much so that I stopped at their place when I was moving to Belize, originally for a night, and stayed 2...or maybe 3! Joe crafts his own beers, which are on tap in the pool house, grills some great meat, and both he and Rita are such relaxing and calm spirits (which is odd since Joe is has an outwardly wild and exuberant persona) that you can't help but never want to leave. Interestingly enough I'm pretty sure Joe will also be the neighborhood cat "lady" at some point...unless Rita can save him.
|Joe, Kristy, Mark - all packing heat...that target is gonna get it|
|Me and my Aunt Dorothy|
After a night on the farm it was off the next day; I drove back to Houston, with a stop in Huntsville to see my Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Kermit. YEP!! Kermit is my uncle. Now you know why I can jump so high...and like thick women - for 'reals' though he's like a super famous author, check out his world famous book by click right HERE!!! For now we travel by air to Phoenix where my buddy Andrew and his lovely lady Amber live. Two nights visiting his clan on tap.
Andrew is a friend from the old hotel days. When I worked at Stonebridge Companies I was in charge of all Best Western and Wyndham branded hotels for them (that was 2 tiny hotels total...) and I went through Wyndham training with Andrew who worked for a company in Phoenix (at one point we were both SBC employees as well...and we're both NAU Lumberjacks!).
|The Glazed Donut Gilled Cheese|
|All my hotelier friends will appreciate what Andrew did here!|
|Kitty Cat Time|
Beer is not hard to get in Belize, but it is in the states for minors. At a gas station one night there may or may not (but definitely WAS) an offer for a blow job in exchange for buying this under age girl some beer...we left the gas station and she was still beer less. The next day driving through town in a rather large F-350 a lady in another very large truck hit our mirror with her mirror. After agreeing to a quick cash exchange for repair she asked us to follow her to work so she can get the money. She was an attractive Asian woman, looked Vietnamese, very well put together, nice clothes, boobs too large to missed by a passing satellite. Andrew looks at me and says "not to be stereotyping...but I bet we're headed to a nail salon." After a few blocks we round the corner, pull in a strip mall and see a huge Pho restaurant...which we drove right past stopping at the nail salon on the other side.
The next morning I boarded a flight bound for Colorado. The bulk of my time, the bulk of my previous life...well...same life but my previous self I suppose. I had a lot of very interesting revelations about a number of things during my time in Colorado. Some you'll hear about, some I'll keep for me, and still others I've likely forgotten already.