Monday, January 5, 2015

2015 - Bring it On!

Photo by Karen Brodie

What a year!  Was it a good year, or a bad year?  Or was it just a year?  Hmmm - there is certainly no simple answer to that; because it was all of those.  I mean heck, a year is 365 days so you're bound have a few wave crests and valleys right (no more roller coaster references...I'm sure most folks here haven't ever seen a roller coaster - I mean we barely have cars!).  To the few of you that will not realize I'm a whimsical SOB and just got thoroughly offended by my comment...sorry, not sorry (stolen phrase from Matt Hoy that has been thoroughly absorbed into my lexicon)!

Photo by Karen Brodie

Having a birthday only a few days away from the New Year is a great thing.  Not only do I get to start a new calendar year, but also my personal year begins anew.  Usually I do not reminisce or build resolutions or any of that bunk; while I remain without a resolution, this is a year to take stock, to look back a bit and think, to realize I should've eaten more Country Fried Steaks before moving to Belize, and finally to email Google and ask them why Chrome still doesn't think "should've" is a valid contraction...cause it is.

Photo by Karen Brodie
So why the long drawn out intro?  Most accurately because I do hope most of you are no longer reading.  I feel like my honestly hurts people, and on a very selfish level I feel the honestly below may hurt the way people think of me - but this blog is about my life, and it ain't all pretty. As the vast majority of you no doubt know, Tristan and I separated almost a year and half.  We completed the paper work in 2014.  What I don't feel people know is the truth behind the path.  Not that there is any big secret or event - just as life goes people jump on sides and make assumptions.  But I feel I have to say this (well write it, cause I don't talk words well). The majority of people rode the middle and never openly took a side, but there is still frustrations that exist.  It is what if is people.  When I review my mental 2014 and 2013 I see a lot of things I sucked at - still talking about the marriage.  I wasn't easy, I wasn't warm, I wasn't open, I wasn't a lot of things that I needed to be.

Many of you blame Tristan for leaving; but do you blame me for not chasing?  Do you blame me being the one that mentally checked out before Tristan physically (as in left) checked out?  And if not...why not?  My best friend Mark got married while Tristan and I were beginning with these issues over two years back. During my best man speech I offered these words (or close to) - "a marriage is very much like that fabled field where you reap what you sew.  If you put crap in, you'll get crap out; however if you invest love, patience, compassion, and understanding then you will get all those back."  I did invest crap, and I knew it when I basically told Mark to do better than I did.   Not that the wife was perfect either...but still I feel I needed people to understand I have my fair share (probably more) of the culpability here.

Photo by Karen Brodie
Either way - the past is history, full of lessons to be learned, but with no events to regret. That's right, I'm very much one of those "regret nothing" people.   I don't think "what if" thoughts are helpful, and are in fact very harmful.  None of that matters!  You are where you are, and you have a choice - you can either grow or don't.  I will always choose to grow. Through the process of the separation/divorce and therapy involved therein - I did learn a great deal about me, what makes me tick, and where I find value, happiness, joy and those things to invest in.  Shortly thereafter I got an offer that would allow me to hit on those things - to get away from what was pulling me down and put myself on a path towards 'back to good' and have a good shot at 'great' at some point the future.  So yada yada BELIZE! I kinda think a lot of people here, have a story that has that chapter "Yada Yada BELIZE!"

Photo by Karen Brodie
Down here it seems no asks about the past, at least not the detailed version - and that fits me just fine cause I'm keener to deal in the present and look to the future.  I'm still learning the ins and outs of a charter company and a dive shop - but enjoying it for sure.  Haven't had a day off in over 3 months, and you know what...I really don't mind.  Though I could use a chiropractic adjustment.  The best part of San Pedro is it very much fits the life style I wanted.  I can live within a few blocks radius, I have the ocean, great friends, family, and just lacking cold and snow.  I've met some really great people in 2014 too.  Not that any of them can replace any of the great people I miss from the states. But it's not about replacing is it?  It's about community.
Photo by Karen Brodie

A life in a different country really helps you develop a sense of community, and a deeper appreciation for it.  When you can understand the struggle of people, and witness the joys found despite them - it helps you gain perspective.  I kinda feel like if we could take every youth from America and pack in 12 months of living in another country into their brain then the States would be a much better place!

I'm happily looking forward to 2015 and 36 (yeah, I'm that old). I look forward to expanding Ecologic, to developing relationships with new friends, a chance to visit old friends and feel those hugs once again, and whatever else may exist on the horizon!  I have no doubt that lessons learned will lead to brighter tomorrows.

I took about 100 photos at our roof top New Year's party, during our 45 minute firework display, and not a one was even 1/2 as good as the one's here - thank you Karen!  I look forward to chronicling more adventures; and I'll try and put more personal stuff in.  I got away from it a bit cause I think the process may have been painful for some - and that's not my goal.  Many of you have reached out to me about moving abroad, some for logistical support/knowledge, some for basic encouragements - I'm more than happy to answer you all and help you.  It's a great thing.

Oh yeah - when are some of you fools gonna come visit?!

Interesting Factoids:

  • Two of you will send me info on typos and grammar issues
  • More web crawlers with read this blog than actual people
  • All of you think 'cause' isn't appropriate as a shortened version of 'because' and I disagree with each and every one of you
  • One Travel Writer (that shall remain unnamed) will comment on another bloggers Facebook page about something I did to piss her off...but OMG a Travel Writer reads my blog!!!  *Girly scream*
  • 1 out of 10 people that say they'll visit actually will
  • I have far more chat windows open than can be healthy for proper conversing - and LARRY just joined in!!
  • I have a really long white hair and I have no idea where it came from...


  1. Great post, hope you have a fabulous New Year

  2. seems the "unnamed" travel writer not only reads your blog, but is actually commenting on it now. And, she no longer comments about all the things you do/say to piss her off, but rather what you do/say that makes her happy. What irony, huh? ;)

    I'll say this again -- I hope you take the time to revisit posts like this and look at how far you've come since writing it/them. You are human and we all make mistakes, whether it's in relationships/marriages, work, or with friends. It's all about how you grow from these experiences and ensure you don't repeat the same mistakes. And, kudos to you for sharing these experiences -- my blogging/writing has always been very impersonal, and I've never discussed the breakdown or reasons behind my own marriage(s) failing. It takes a strong person to share their own perceived shortcomings and failures in life -- especially when that "travel writer" who you hated is reading! ;) I'll say this publicly here because you deserve to hear how amazing you are every day. I readily admit I misjudged you and for that I will always be sorry, but you are an incredible person. You should be proud of the person you are today because most everyone in SP -- myself included -- seem to think that guy is pretty darn awesome.